We’re buddies. We have been for some years.
He’s married. I know his wife.
One time a few years ago she told him to go to me.
They were having some problems.
I told him, No.

There is no risk here.
I have enough risk in other places.

I let him fuck me because I need.
It isn’t complicated for me.

He questioned my living situation.
I don’t need permission to fuck anyone of my choosing.
He doesn’t care who I fuck.  But he always knows who I fuck.
That’s just the way it is. Just so you know.
He won’t ever say anything to you…

It’s rather hard
Utilitarian.
But satisfying in a raw kind of way.

So I taught him to bite me.
Just because I need.
And I taught him to suck me.
Just because I need.
But not because I want…
to kiss

We talked about the knife.
He doesn’t know how….

I hear the words echo in my head

“Slut”
“Takes one to know one”

Might as well get what I need.
I need skin and sex and body heat
I tried to beg to feed my shame.

So be it.

But it’s still cold in here….