I was perusing the Urban Dictionary online this morning, and randomly came across this:
Writer’s Crap:
Derived from ‘writer’s cramp’, writer’s crap refers to a stage when one is only capable of writing utter crap.
HA!
Yep, that’s how I’ve felt for the past few months. I don’t like it one bit. Nothing comes. And if it does. Nothing follows.
Seems I’m stuck in my head despite my propensity to write as a cathartic outlet…to grab a thought and push it through the looking glass. Move my emotions through the other side and come out clean. Or at least, satisfied with the purging of my rawness.
I’ve been plenty emotionally unsettled since arriving back in Colorado. The not knowing why I am here….for what purpose….what lessons….no light at the end of the tunnel. I’m up. I’m down. I’m exploring a host of new and old.
I’m in turmoil most days, but the writing part doesn’t come. Days I am in sync, happy and unencumbered I just have no desire to spend time with a journal. I watch fleeting impressions but refuse to grab what passes to record. I need to be more alone in it. But at the same time out of my head about it all.
Make sense?
Sands of Time 
Yep…I often ask myself what it is that I have to write about…Usually that simple question frees the pathway…but not always.
And sometimes the turmoil is too deep and I’m too fragile to express it.
Dunno what’s up with you, but I hope you’ll do details somewhere…here Sandlewood…email. I’d like to support you. Talk to me?
It’s the same old shit shannee….Type A personality, not settling into accepting what is. Fuck, most of the time I don’t even realize what I’m throwing about with my energy….
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You bet it does. Sounds very familiar :)
LOL, must be the planetary alignment these days
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Definitely makes sense. When I decided to open the new site it was with the internal knowledge that there are things I just want to sit with these days rather than write about. I’m trying to just go with the flow, sharing as the mood takes me, whether that might be several times a day or several times a month.
I find myself these days with lots of questions, and yet something is telling me this isn’t the time to give those questions voice, simply to be patient and the answers will come. Patience isn’t one of my natural virtues ….lol. Guess that’s part of what I’m meant to learn right now.
Anyway…..I’ll leave you with a thought……one person’s crap is another person’s treasure……..who knows what treasures we unwittingly leave when we’re sorting through our ‘crap’.
love and hugs xxx
Hiya, M:e! It’s true there may be value for someone else to the writing/sharing. I just don’t see it. But, that’s not the why of why I write anything, lol.
Right now there are too many questions. The biggest one is what the hell I am really doing here sharing space with My Muse. Guess I need to stop asking and go with it. So very hard, wanting the (perceived) safety of knowing or at least knowing something…..Like you, patience has never come easy. It’s a continual struggle although I don’t voice all of it aloud like I used to…..
Much Love xoxo
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