Good god I feel like I have been pulled into the vortex of Raging Bitchiness, with others demands, meanness, hurt feelings, yada yada yada.

What the fuck?

I haven’t been this stressed since I was asked to become friends with my roommate’s new love.  Another manipulative, insecure in relationships, controlling, jealous sort who constantly fished me with masked kindness for inside information about her lover.  While trying to please my roommate, and thinking I was being unkind and not supportive, friendly, blah, blah, blah by not really wanting anything to do with her….I was sick about it most of the time.  Out of balance with what I knew how this all made me feel inside.  It’s that big solar plexus ache.

I recently cut that string completely when I was shown an e-mail from her where she assumed my week visit in California was moving in with him. I was so hurt at her meanness in the e-mail that I couldn’t even read the entire letter.  Enough.  Out of my life. Pau.

Again, I find myself actively participating in giving another woman this kind of power?  It’s not the “another woman” part btw…it would be anyone.

Ok, enough is enough.

I sat with this most of the day.

I am clear this must come to an end.

I am the only one who can do it.

It’s my choice.

Here is the deal:

I am responsible for me and me alone..this include my feelings and my happiness.

Everything else is peripheral to me.

It doesn’t count unless I bring it into focus.

So I won’t.

I am not going to hurt my friend by telling him he’s doing wrong in his decisions.

Nope.

They are not my decisions.

He’s a big boy.  He needs to do what he needs to do.

It doesn’t affect our friendship unless I let it.

I’m not going to mention anything.

I’ll do what I need to do and everyone else can act accordingly.

I actually feel pretty good.  Happier than I have been in days and much less stressed.

No worries…