This is a longer version of my last post elsewhere.  All the details would be…well…inappropriate there.  And it’s why I blog here.

They were a wedding gift from my longtime friend, Linda.

A pair of etched crystal wine goblets. She bought them in the little artist community in Guffy, Colorado where she lived at the time.  July 1993. The etching was of the surrounding area…the high Colorado mountains, pine trees, a sliver moon and stars. Hand etched…one of a kind.

When we split I found myself using them often. As is my habit to use things I like. I used my grandmothers china the same way.  As often as possible…lovingly and with fond memories.

There were only a few personal items I brought to Hawaii. The glasses were carefully packed and sent in advance to my friend to stow away for my eventual arrival.  I thought if something happened and I didn’t make it….Well…I had no qualms about giving them to him.

When I opened the box months later…one of the pair had shattered despite all the layers of bubble wrap and newspaper.  Oh well….I poured the wine and handed the glass to my friend as I had done many times before.  This time…there was only one glass instead of two.

There was much symbolism seeing the broken glass that day….

One glass broken.  One intact.  A broken pairing.

Sturdy yet ever so fragile.  A testament to human strength and frailty.

Beautifully etched.  With my life experiences and love.

One of a kind.  Just like me.

I used those wine glasses more in the past three and a half years than the 13 years I was married.  But I think it was more out of  Defiance than love of the gift and fond memories.  Not that I didn’t love the gift and all but honestly….it always annoyed me that he didn’t want to use them.

Even with the one remaining…well, I always made it a habit to hand that one to him.

One week ago:

I couldn’t believe it came out of my mouth.  I told him, I’m going to break that glass tonight.

As the party was winding down, I unceremoniously placed it in a plastic bag and smashed it against the edge of the table. Once to break it. Twice for good measure.

I high-fived my friend.  A knowing look and smile passed between us.

It’s done. Pau. Finally. Three and a half years. I never thought it would take this long.

It felt right to smash the glass. To toss it aside. It was time.

There’s something else at work here….

The party was for my longtime friend,  ex landlord, partner in crime, longtime off and on again over the years when we wanted to…lover of sorts, *grin* and current roommate who moved to the mainland.  It was his last night on island.

He always liked those goblets. *smile*  We drank lots of wine and mead from them when we were both living in Colorado.  And lots more living together the past 5 months here in Hawaii.

You see, we’ve said goodbye before.  Once when he took a job across the country.  Then again seven months later when he moved here to Hawaii from California via Colorado.  Each time I helped him pack and tried to hold back my alligator tears.  *sigh* Once again I remain.  Once again….in his former home.

The broken glass.  Another ending. Another beginning.

Sturdy yet ever so fragile.  A testament to the natures of Friendship.

Beautifully etched.  With love.

One of a kind.  Like each one of us.

Like breaking the glass, I deleted most of my blog at that other place. I started it only months after I split with my husband.  And a few weeks after meeting the man I speak of here.  It was the cathartic outlet I needed.  That blog, and that glass, have finally outlived their usefulness, and now only serve to bind me in the past.

The few posts that hold special meaning…the ones I like the best…remain there.

It feels right.

It’s time to let go and more forward once again…on many levels.

We will always be best friends and life companions. And share Love.

It feels right.

Cheers Sweet G, my longtime friend, companion, lover, confidant, mentor and Love.  May you also find what you seek.