I thought of you this morning.  And felt a bit sad over missing you…your touch, your scent.  How much I wanted you here with me this very minute.  I’m touch starved. I’m intimacy starved.  About 2 weeks is all I can stand….it’s been longer than that now.

I’m sad….mostly though disappointed in myself for feeling selfish about it all.   Disappointed in myself for not acknowledging how you support me on a daily basis.  And most importantly, disappointed in myself for wanting more than you are able to give.

The reasons don’t matter….they never do.  We can only live our lives for us and in the best way we know how.

Yah, it’s not all about the sex anymore.  Funny, it always has been before…many times – more often than not when I really think about it – sex being the only glue to the ‘relationship’ instead of it really being about the deep friendship with a lover or spouse.  And in it all, falling far too easily into the trap of equating sex with love when I tumble into the unknown with you.  And it is a part of Love to tumble so effortlessly after all the lust and newness wears off.   Oh, it’s not that sex has ceased to matter.  Or that I’m somehow feeling ambivalent.   It’s just…well…it’s become the icing on the cake….and the cake is plenty sweet without the icing all the time.