How do you define Guilt?

Mostly as a tool to manipulate others. It can also be a tool to manipulate our own behavior. And while that type of manipulation might be considered a good thing…a righteous act, it could very well be used to divert ourselves from Mastery. Guilt also speaks obligation to me. We all have them. But it seems to be always imposed and the not given freely kind of obligation.

What do you think of Guilt?

It’s a pretty destructive mode of communication we rely on to get our way because of some kind of false expectation we have of ourselves or others. It also seems to be based in the assumption that everyone would act in a certain manner….ours.

Does Guilt have healthy applications?

I think Guilt is built around a victim mentality. It’s easier to get our way by blaming someone else for our poor choices. That is….you don’t have anyone use Guilt because of a “good” outcome for them. There is only an attempt at using Guilt if you are the one who didn’t fuel it to conception for their benefit. So no. Not with others. And that forces this question:

Do you use Guilt as a method of self-censoring?

I self censor pretty well when I want to. *grins* It’s not that I don’t realize the consequences of my actions. I’m pretty cognizant of them I think. Sometimes I choose otherwise, sometimes I don’t. Isn’t it all about the conscious decision at any one moment in time? But I don’t perceive one or the other as coming from a Place of Censorship thru Guilt.

I’ll use a recent example: We went out in the field, did our work, took lunch, stopped to check out the antique store on the way back that the boss told us about, stopped for a short walk on the beach, hit the Ice Cream Parlour on the North Shore, went back to work, finished up and went home. Yah, we get to do that sometimes. *smile*

Do I feel guilty about taking a multi-hour lunch? That would be no. Did I suffer in some way because of it? Well yes, I pushed a deadline closer than wanted to. I was aware of the deadline and ignored it based on my pleasure at that moment in time. Yes, it caused a bit of stress (personal suffering in anxiety I created) about it all later. But I didn’t feel guilty. I do feel I didn’t necessarily do my best in that regard even tho I made the deadline. And I might do it again. But I don’t feel that I am without a conscience or don’t give a shit.

Do you use Guilt to censor others?

I have in the past. Many times. Probably we all have at some time or other to get our way. Nope, don’t do it any more. It’s a huge push for me towards resentment in any relationship. Either mine towards someone else or someone else’s toward me. I can hear no pretty well. I might not like it. And I might communicate my disappointment. But not in a manipulative way. As fact and kindly, making sure I also communicate that my feelings are mine….

Do you allow others to use Guilt to censor you?

ummm…no. The boundary lines have become pretty thick over the years. If it sounds inflexible….well, maybe it is. In the absence if unkindness by myself towards another…each person is responsible for their own emotional state. I’m more and more aware of mine and try pretty hard to take responsibility for them. I don’t want to take on others emotional blame in the you made me feel, or do in a certain way department

Any other thoughts about Guilt?

This seems to come down to nothing more than personal choice, expectations and perhaps jealousy. If I choose differently than you or differently than you want me to, and choose not to prolong any suffering about it I should feel guilty because…??? I didn’t meet your expectation of me? I didn’t meet what you think my expectations are of of myself? If I do feel guilty and suffer, or watch another feel guilty and suffer….are we somehow vindicated in our assessments?

How did you feel while doing this Meme?

Interesting because I started this post earlier this morning and ended up trashing it as too verbose and not making a point. So now I have to ask because I noticed by the time I got to the end I felt a bit of anger rising. And I’m not sure but it seems to stem from the fact that I am (half) jokingly referred to as the troublemaker of the group.

Maybe I just rationalize my do what I want attitude better than others…*laughs*

Note on what prompted this Meme:

Long story short….He said we should get going back to work because he was starting to feel guilty about it.

Laughing flip reply from Rosa, I don’t do guilt.

*head whipping action toward me riding shotgun* But that’s what keeps our conscience.

*blinks* I let it pass. Maybe it was all in the phrasing. Maybe I’m splitting hairs with terminology.

This was also communicated to me quite recently….Well, you always said you don’t do guilt. We’re all obligated to someone else. Must be nice to live your life the way you want.

So I’ve been thinking and that’s what prompted this Guilt Meme ‘cuz it seems to be a good way of cutting to the quick without being my overly verbose self today. *laughs*

Oh, one last thing. Sometimes in the introspection about Mastery through Accomplishment, I find I dwell heavily on issues that need work against Diverting. It just occurred to me as I finish up here, that it’s kinda fun to look at what doesn’t divert us for a change. *wink*

I’m quite sure Guilt is not something that I use to divert myself.