Sands of Time

Just 11 days before the one year anniversary of the devastating Waldo Canyon Fire that destroyed 347 homes and 18,000+ acres on the West edge of Colorado Springs,  the Black Forest Fire which started Tuesday afternoon this week has already consumed 360 homes and burned over 15,000 acres.  There is of course, this early on, no containment and nearly 40,000 residents encompassing close to 100,000 acres northeast of the city limits have been evacuated.

I honestly think people don’t get it. The lack of terrain isn’t going to make an appreciable difference here.  Make no mistake; this fire is already proving to be more deadly with a much faster “run” than the Waldo Canyon fire….while the terrain is relatively flat in comparison to the Waldo Canyon Fire-the vegetation density is extremely high as well and is burning in a more populated area than much of the uninhabited Forest Service land in the Waldo fire. Crown runs do not completely burn ground fuels that prevents repeated burning when a fire turns back on itself.  If this fire and the extreme weather it creates turns back on itself, those unburned fuels will burn yet again.

With the wind now pushing south, immediate evacuations for the north end of the City of Colorado Springs are now in effect and expected to increase.  Smoke is visible from the cities of Pueblo, Boulder and north Denver along the Front Range (~100 miles).

Twitter Photo

Twitter Photo

On top of the 302nd Airlift Wing MAFFS C-130’s, and Chinooks with buckets, even bigger guns on loan (DC-10’s) from the Air Force as well as the Idaho Interagency Fire Center dropping over 25,000 gallons of fire retardant slurry  in 10 missions have made no impact in slowing the fire.

C130 MAFF reloading at Rocky Mountain Metro to fight Black Forest and Royal Gorge fires.
Twitter Photo

DC 10 over Black Forest Fire. Twitter Photo

This is only one of numerous fires burning in Colorado….And no one is speculating on the origin especially with the lack of thunderstorms and lightening in the area the past week…..

Photos link: http://blogs.denverpost.com/captured/2013/06/12/photos-colorado-wildfires-2013/6158/

Colorado National Guard Photos showing awesome efforts to help control and contain this beast:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/conationalguard/sets/72157634090174767/

Twitter: #BlackForestFire

Twitter photo-found in evacuation area on a residence door.

Just listen to your own heart. This is your only teacher. ~Osho~

Are you listening?

alternate sexual realities…

If you live with unhealthy people, to be healthy is dangerous. If you live with insane people, then to be sane is dangerous. If you live in a madhouse, even if you are not mad at least pretend that you are mad; otherwise those mad people will kill you.
  ~Osho~

Not once but twice in the past week I’ve had this conversation with people about levels of drama. Not just in my own house and in some cases by my own hand (where I escalated because of anger),  but by others around me dealing with intimate (but not necessarily sexual) relationship(s).

As I watch the constant drama around me unfold in various ways with various people over time this past year, I have been thinking about how invested we are into ensuring more and more drama in our lives.

Do we create drama in order to have something to invest in where there is nothing (or nothing more) to invest in? Because what I SEE is that while we talk a good game, we fail miserably to actually apply this to ourselves on all levels and particularly where we get “pulled in” by others into their drama.

And when one drama is resolved to our satisfaction, do we create another?

Are we so invested in panic, chaos and disorder, we go our of our way to make it so?

So why? Why do we work so stinking hard at creating messes to be taken care of in our lives?

Control where we have none?  Insecurities?  Fear?  We have to make up for something lacking in our lives? Is that in lieu of experiencing life itself? What?

How much drama do you have in your life?

How much is made by your own hand? When did you realize your part in this? Do you still do this…..engage that drama?

How much do you tolerate from others?

At what point do you say, enough is fucking enough, and refuse to participate?  Is it simply that we suck at setting our own boundaries except the really uncrossable ones, but always easily see where others don’t set theirs?  At what point do you realize being supportive to others has nothing to do with investing yourself in their continual drama?  How do we remain supportive and not get involved?  Can we do that without indicating we just don’t want to hear the continual drama anymore?  At what point do you walk away?

I do wish this had a separate “journal” type feature.

Or am I missing something here? Any way to do this without making more pages stacked under a main page?

“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”
~Kurt Vonnegut~

How invested are you?

Do you write your fairytale or do you live it?

Just curious…..

Don’t bother, you won’t find what you chase.

Happiness chases us. We only have to stop long enough for it to wrap its joyful arms around us…like love…it’s there with us all along, right behind us, waking the same path.

How long will you run?

Like a bad stain on your favorite blouse, lies eventually come out in the wash. Yet, the faint discoloration of deceit lingers in the fibers.

lather, rinse, repeat…..

Who am I? Why do I write?

I don’t remember a time not writing. First letters, first words, first sentences, first cards to Mommy, letters to Grandpa, stories about vacations, pink pubescent diaries, obligatory poetry, reports with the circles and arrows of proper citations, thesis papers, newspaper articles, “just the facts ma’am” reports to the boss. Journals line the shelves of the bookcase in my room.

Now, I live in a home with a writer. Our words fill the house, beat by discordant beat.  The tension of our existence reverberates against the walls.  Her: the night owl extrovert.   Me: the sunrise introvert.   Her words: soft, lyrical, renaissance metaphors of castles built on sand sung with the incessant clacky clack on a cheap plastic keyboard. My words: raw, terse, cutting, emotion filled cadence of drum beats marching line after line and sung over the scratch-ity scratch of pencil to paper.

I, like many other writers I know, self-depreciate with a vengeance. We edit unmercifully with angst over every word, every sentence.  We procrastinate. Scared to start and scared to finish. I used to think my perfectionism was a strength. Now I’m not so sure. No, I am sure. Perfectionism stalls me with the fear of vulnerability and ancient shame of not-good-enough. Perfectionism prevents me from moving forward by letting go and proclaiming to myself, “more than good enough”. Begone you, shame and fear have no power here. Yet they still exist in the shadows of my mind where I write under the radar of scrutiny and vulnerability.

Why do I write?  I write to ease the demons. A story in my soul, a story to be told…

What if you slept? And what if, in your sleep, you dreamed? And what if, in your dream, you went to heaven and there plucked a strange and beautiful flower? And what if, when you awoke, you had the flower in your hand?  Ah, what then?”

~Samuel Taylor Coleridge~

Tonight…To sleep: perchance to dream…

Question:
Based on your prior posts, your interpretation of how to deal with things you can’t control in life was : “Once you are able to honor others choices without taking it personally, you will be at peace”. What if others choices is against your beliefs? How would you define “boundaries” in a relationships and how can we “stand up” for our rights if we should honor others choices?

Response:
Honoring others choices will often mean that they are in conflict with your own choices and beliefs. If their views agree with yours, then there is nothing that challenges you to broaden your perspective. To honor another’s choices that you disagree with means that even though they have come to a different position from yours, you can understand and respect the different experiences and backgrounds that have led to their choices. This is the cornerstone of all successful conflict resolution.

Standing up for your rights and boundaries will vary from one person to the other depending upon how they interpret what are their rights and the boundaries of their self. For adults in the process of healing a past of childhood abuse, they will feel many typical human interactions violate of their rights and boundaries that others without that background wouldn’t necessarily feel. But as we heal our past, the sense of rights and boundaries tends to shift away from a defensive stance toward more of a simple knowingness of what is important to your growth and joy and life and maintaining a focus on that and not worrying about conflicting opinions. Everyone is entitled to their own views, their own path of growth, their own life choices, just as you are. When you can honor that, in spite of it being different than your own path, then it makes life more peaceful and enjoyable, and the boundary issues take care of themselves.

Love,
Deepak Chopra