Read the following definitions. Use these definitions and no others. Try not to be colored by the ones you may employ in your current relationship(s), or what you have previously read.

Compare metamour with primary and secondary.

Do the words differ according to the posted definitions? How?

Where might it be helpful to use one set of definitions over the other?

Where might it be harmful to use one set of definitions over the other?

Compare and contrast Compersion with Tolerance.

Would compersion be more or less difficult using a hierarchical based relationship system than not?

METAMOUR: (Literally, meta with; about + amor love): The partner of one’s partner, with whom one does not necessarily share a direct sexual or loving relationship.

PRIMARY: In a primary/secondary relationship, the person (or persons) in the relationship with the highest degree of involvement or entanglement, or sometimes the person accorded the most importance. A person may be primary either as a natural consequence of the circumstance and nature of the relationship (because that person has the greatest degree of financial entanglement, for example), or as a deliberate consequence of the relationship structure and agreements (as in the case of an existing couple who set out to add additional partners only on the condition that those existing partners are seen as “less important” than the couple).  People who do not seek to construct a relationship along prescriptive primary/secondary lines may have more than one primary relationship; a relationship can become primary when it reaches a certain point of emotional commitment, practical entanglement, or both.

SECONDARY: In a primary/secondary relationship, the person (or persons) in the relationship who, either by intent or by circumstance, have a relationship which is given less in terms of time, energy and priority in a person’s life than a primary relationship, and usually involves fewer ongoing commitments such as plans or financial/legal involvements. A secondary relationship may be secondary as a result of a conscious decision on the part of the primary partners, or simply as a result of circumstance (distance or time involvement), or as a natural development of the relationship.

COMPERSION:A feeling of joy when a partner invests in and takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship. Compersion can be thought of as the opposite of “jealousy;” it is a positive emotional reaction to a lover’s other relationship.

TOLERATE: To allow the existence, occurrence, or practice of (something one does not necessarily like or agree with (without interference).