Most of the time, it’s this:

The hurt little girl is too scared to let go.

How can I be submissive except in those rare, fleeting moments, if I cannot release the hurt little girl?

How can I come from a place that is pure of heart without the pain of former mistrust and hurts?

I haven’t, so I focus on “Doing For” instead of Being” and “Allowing”.

When I play with those who inspires my submissiveness or even when I am in the presence of those who so easily trip my submissive switch, those tears or other emotions I feel (joy and contentment and happiness as well) are the little girl bubbling to the surface releasing the hurts buried deep inside and finding a safe spot. Surely you must know this on some level. And when I watch your eyes change (and often they do even in normal circumstances), that touches the little girl because she knows someone else isn’t scared to be as vulnerable as she is in that moment.

This is also related to my problems with managing subspace by myself. The little girl emerged and then waits for someone to understand and soothe the little girl who is still so very vulnerable, Even days later, it is the little girl inside who is starting to heal who wants to crawl into your lap, sit at your feet, or wants the hug. It isn’t the adult becoming a needy, clinging woman who is digging their hooks trying to manipulate a “relationship” or actively “topping from the bottom” to get what she needs. It’s the scared little girl looking for nothing more than a safe way home so the adult woman can again emerge with all the strength and grace needed to be whole; to be who she needs to be for herself (and others who touch her little girl).

Your remark about submissive woman requiring more seduction? I would say that this is true for many woman more often than they realize and I believe is also true especially of submissive woman, Yes. Yes you are seducing the Adult Woman, and as you do, you so are also gaining access to the little girl. That takes more time and more care. It is not always a sexual seduction. It is less tangible and more covert. All Dominants who are worth a damn do this as a matter of course. It isn’t forced or an act to get something out of a “submissive” or “slave”. It’s the nature of the beast.