Thinking last night….late….It’s the 1-3am can’t sleep program again.

I’ve been single over 4 years and divorced three.

I’ve had plenty of one night stands, a few FBuddies, a couple FWBenefits.  A lover or two on occasion. Off and on kind of thing…more than FWB.  Less than “boyfriend”.

Looking back at it all, I haven’t *had* a boyfriend since High School…since I was 16.  Jim.  My two oldest children’s Daddy. My first ex-husband. My first Love.

No, not one for over 4 years…..

I just want someone to talk to, someone to walk with, someone to hold my hand, someone to plan stuff with and do stuff with even if it doesn’t ever work out in the long term as my holding hands forever, best friend and 10 cow guy.

I just want to love someone…be with someone like that…not just in sex.  Intimacy.  And to be loved that way in return…I need some sweetness….some tenderness…someone else to look forward to…someone who thinks I’m special enough…someone who thinks I’m worth it…

Because I am….