Perched on the curb in the midday sun. Legs splayed in front of me. Occasionally taking a minute to stretch… still sore…sadly underused muscles.

Intently and even a bit lovingly, I carefully picked at the seeds in the recesses of my shoes, stubbornly embedded in the mesh between layers of fabric. Sharp pointed weed seeds from another place, another time, another life. One by one, each was systematically and brutally crushed, putting an end to the cycle of germination and growth.

I wrote a few days ago about how I was going to dedicate time to stepping back, being more aware and letting my heart guide me. I spent time feeling my heart in relationship to decisions I am in the process of making. Should I plant this seed or that seed? Should I weed this seedling or that one? Each time I received an answer. Not always the answer I wanted…but the answer that was in my heart.

I am moving at the end of the month. A friend here called a few nights ago with an unexpected offer for shared housing. It’s an opportunity which saves both of us money. But for me, it means even more. It means being closer to my goals.

It’s an 18th floor apartment in the Salt Lake district downtown. Not far from Chinatown, Waikiki, and the University. It has a great view of both Pearl Harbor and Salt Lake with it’s large park and wetland preserve (the wetland preserve is very important). And half the distance to my favorite early morning beach. The Eagles Nest. A place were the TV has been replaced with tanks of rare fish. It’s both creative and peaceful. It has funk as well as the vitality of the city I need right now. There is an interesting dichotomy…and a slight energetic tension about it…like me I suppose.

There are other decisions which bring not-so-pleasant heart feelings. A dis-ease. Those will sort themselves out as well. But I know now…there is no ambiguity.

Some of my previous seeds are growing nicely. Some seeds I will always nurture. But today I find myself planting a few new ones. And crushing those that have the capacity to grow rampant…to smother smaller seedlings I need to tend.