I like sitting outside in public places…to…uhhhh…well…watch the public.
I often go to one of the local coffee shops to do just that. And think, and write, and just relax. I needed to get out of the house tonight.

The night air is warm and heavy with humidity…rare in the high mountain desert. Summer storms brew in the afternoon against the 14,000+ foot peak and adjoining mountain range here on Colorado’s East Slope. Heat from the prairie rises against the mountains and late afternoon or early evening thunderstorms ensue…powerful thunderstorms…torrential rain…localized flooding…brief in duration. It’s just enough to cool and quench the thirst.

Despite the heat, it still hasn’t rained today. It’s breezy and the storm appears to be moving to the southeast.

Watching the day turn to night…Azure blue deepens to Lapis as the sun fades behind the mountains. Lapis to Indigo. Indigo to Navy. Navy to Black. No stars tonight.

The night air is an odd mixture of scents…coffee, exhaust, the sweet smell of phlox, a faint but sharp reminder of a skunk somewhere in the distance.
I like this coffee shop. It’s located on the west end of town. A funky little neighborhood. Funky atmosphere. Old and derelict in some ways…quaint in others. It’s got a flavor all its own.
I’m not afraid here…but I rarely am. Maybe I’m just used to being on this side of town. Maybe I just don’t care enough to be afraid. At any rate, I’m comfortable.

The wind has picked up again after a short lull and changed direction by 180 degrees. We may get some rain tonight after all.

It’s interesting here watching…my back is against the wall of the building.

A young man in his mid 20’s. Black shirt, black shoes, white dockers. He sits with his coffee and turns his attentions to the book on his lap. Occasionally he looks over his shoulder at me to the right and slightly behind him. He is of Italian descent; I’m sure of it. He reminds me of my cousin Walter so many years ago.

A mocha skinned, black curly haired teen with earphones…slouched in his chair.

A woman walks by carrying bags from the grocery store up the street. She strolls along in a leisurely fashion. Her bags are stuffed but not obviously heavy. One in each hand…balanced .

Four men who appear to be in their mid 40’s occupy another table. Their talk is lively and punctuated with laughter. One has a small dog on his lap. They take turns passing him around.

An older gentleman sits at the furthest end and gazes outward. I wonder what he’s thinking. Did he have a good day? Is he missing his wife?

As I sit and watch, other thoughts invade my calm.
I have something else on my mind tonight. I usually do when I come here to watch and write. Process.

It’s the contrast of what each said about relationships.

“It’s supposed to be easy. And it is.” We were talking about the easy flow in his marriage, how we get along so well, what he told his daughters about relationships.

Yesterday I told another friend, “Lets just keep it simple. It is.”
He replied, “Easy to say…not so easy to do…I just want it to be easy. It never is.” His text had a slight sigh of sadness…resignation…uncertainty.

But I remember asking him just last year, “Is it always supposed to be this easy?”
“Why yes”, he replied smugly and finished his thought with a boyish grin, “it is.”

So I wonder to myself….How does it fit?  Why has it changed? Where do I fit? Why this path?  What is the lesson?

I reflect back on my marriages, it was never easy. Always a struggle, always some kind of conflict to work through. Is the best always difficult?

I now believe in my heart of hearts…Perhaps it’s that I must believe this way…it should be easy. And when it’s right, it will be. Timing is everything.
I also know when I am uncertain, nothing is the only something I need to do because when it’s right it, will be. Timing is everything.

If I could take his face in my hands and kiss his forehead, I would say to him, Just Believe.
I need to go to the dime store, buy some bubbles and send them along.
You know the kind right? Yellow or pink or blue or green plastic bottles with that little yellow plastic holder thingy inside.
Just Believe…Make it Easy

The waitress is gathering the tables and stacking chairs for the night.
The wind is blowing now and changed direction yet again. I smell rain in the air…