I’m quite sure now that what previously pushed me to write anything at all had little to do with the desire to do so. More and more it seems that the exercise has always been cathartic in its entirety, heavily linked to short excessive highs or very long, and very deep lows. I’ve always known I tend towards depression, especially in the winter months.
When life is a gentle rolling wave, even and simple, I just don’t seem to bother. No journal, no morning pages, no blogging. Hell, I can’t even come close to responding to comments here. I’m interested, but not compelled….

It’s not that there isn’t any creative thought without the sharp and disturbing emotions I’ve experienced in the past. Now they seem to ride over the top and are quickly forgotten as opposed to remaining at the very center of my existence.

I’ve been taking sometime off…relaxing in life, relaxing in a relationship I’ve come to cherish. Exploring a sensual, sexual, sometimes kinky side of myself I never felt comfortable with before. Something I’ve never accepted or nurtured until the past few months.

It’s not that I don’t struggle *grins* only that I allow it less time as a reality. Or maybe I’m a bit more open to the easier path in front of me. It’s not that I don’t feel very deeply about situations or people in my life, I still do. But the lows have been replaced by an ever present happiness. Most of the all consuming sadness seems to have vanished.

Now I just need to tap into creativity fueled by happiness and contentment….