As you know, the weather here in Colorado has been nothing short of extreme for the last month. We’ve had snow every weekend and frigid temps every night. Although it’s been in the high 30’s during the day, what little snow that does melt ends up freezing solid each evening.

There are shortages of many items here from repeated runs every Friday in preparation for the newest storm. Bread and milk are becoming harder and harder to buy. I am rapidly running out of coffee and bottled water. People are hoarding cigarettes, beer, windshield washer fluid, and of all things, ice melt crystals.

I promised to care for the house, and I have. The hot tub is clear of snow and running fine despite the cold weather. I have a small path cleared to the tub on the back deck but the stairs remained very icy.

I have been chipping away at the ice for weeks, but then I thought of the propane torch you left on the bench in the garage. Perfect. A bit of heat should remedy the problem especially since wet wood doesn’t really burn all that well.

I must have let my attention drift some. You know the guy who lives directly behind the house up the hill? The one with the pretty, blonde wife (a real MILF). Wow…he’s so hot. What is his name again? Anyway, the small steps got a bit hotter than I wanted. Good thing the hot tub was open from treating it this week. You see, the hose was frozen solid, but I didn’t know that until I tried to turn it on and the pipes blew apart from the pressure. I threw the steps in the tub because I didn’t want the wood to really catch fire since it was only smoldering at that point. Don’t worry, a bit more chemical and the water in the tub should be clear again. I am glad you showed me where the main valve was located downstairs. There is only a few inches of water on the floor, and that should seep in eventually. In my frantic state to turn off the main valve, I set the torch down in the snow on the main deck. Glad that bucket was still sitting outside the door. The good news is that I didn’t have to call the fire department and there is no damage to the outside of the house. Know you wanted to replace the back deck since it was pretty old.

I know my term is up at the end of the month and I certainly hope this one small incident doesn’t influence your decision to renew my lease. I do love living here.
Please advise how to proceed.

Your tenant,
Rosa

P.S. You have been paying your homeowners insurance, right? Do you need pictures of the house for the insurance? I can send them with my new camera phone. I’ll be glad to help in any way I can with the claim.