I believe we are all born of a cosmic energy which remains forever.
I know with my heart and soul that Death is better than pain and suffering.
It is the ultimate healing as we move to another dimension.

Why is it so very hard to let go? Grief is only for the living. Necessary for resolution?
Are we so selfish, so self absorbed in our own feelings that we cannot find joy and celebrate passing from this life to another?
~~~~~
Found out early this morning when I went back to work that my friend Dale died Saturday.

Saw him a few more times over the summer. He looked surprisingly good last month. Heavier, a bit tanned, and as always, laughing like hell. He had plans to go to Durango over Labor Day weekend despite not being able to ride his bike one last time. I hope he made it.

I do know the decisions of life and death weighed heavily on him. Like many, he worried how long he would be a burden to his family, both emotionally and financially. When to go? I also know he had and arrangement with his best friend and my buddy Joe. I am thankful he died in peace and didn’t have to ask for help.

~~~~~
And I can’t help hearing this in my head

I know you’ll find your true North. Love, Light and Healing to you, Dale…

Maybe tomorrow I can find it in my heart to feel something other than sadness. But not today. Today I choose to be selfish and to grieve.

An addendum to this post dated 14 September.

The funeral was yesterday. On a whim I sent my the Boss Man the copy of what I previously wrote about Dale. Normally I don’t share stuff like that in the office – especially with the Boss Man – But he knew Dale for 20+ years.

They service was gut wrenching for a number of us. Boss Man talked for a long time. And used some of what I had sent along from my last conversations…key phrases in a way so I would know. I’m sure of it. His laughter, his unending use of 4 letter words, his sparkling baby blue eyes, his laughter. And finally, how some saw Dale as a gruff SOB…..and others, well others really ‘got’ Dale…who he was as a man and a friend. I was honored that he took the time to read what I sent and to share parts of that. No, no one but the two of us knew… *smile*

When we were eating, I heard someone call my name and saw Boss Man crooking his finger at me from across the room. Ahhh SHIT! What did I do now? I’m never quite sure. I’m always in trouble. He is 6’9″, 250+ pounds. Yikes, he’s one BIG man.

I didn’t see what he had in his hand but he motioned me to follow so I did….followed behind him as tried this door and that door. Finally he turned to me. I realized I was backed into a corner between a pop machine and a wall, and he was asking if I wanted to say goodbye. Utterly stunned as he handed me the box containing Dales ashes and turned his back to me. This way he effectively shielded me from public view. I talked to Dale and gave him my love for the last time. As I gave Boss Man back the box and thanked him with tears in my eyes, he gave me a great big hug – told me it would all be ok.

I don’t have any words for how very much that single gesture meant, and will always mean to me. He understands more than any of us even realize.

It’s all good now. Really. I will remember him with a smile.