And the subject of that first meeting/date. That’s generally coffee, beer or food in a very public place for me. And usually a place of my choosing. Good, sound advise, right?

I’m always on the order of 15-20 minutes early. Meaning I push a date back at least 15 minutes before I know I can get there. I take my time scoping out the place. Where is the door, other emergency exits? How many and who are working as well as their gender. Where are the bathrooms located, and do I need a key to get in? Where is my lane?

Ok, not always. One time I was late due to our shitty downtown parking. He was waiting outside for me. Shit. He led the way to a corner table and placed himself in the corner of the bar, facing out but leaving the outside seat open for me. Thank you, Goddess Protector of Women! At the time he didn’t know his choice of seating was a huge relief to me.
Another time I was late getting off work. As I pulled up I saw my date get out of his car. I waited for him walk inside so I had time to scope out the outside eating area since it was a nice day. Not ideal but not a huge problem either.

As a petite woman, I know I am easily overpowered. No, I’m not particularly paranoid. I don’t obsess over it. It’s not that I couldn’t hurt someone if I really wanted to. But I do know my strength limitations. And scoping out a place before hand is just something I do.

The point?

I had a total stranger smack me on the ass on one of these dates, as I left the table for the bathroom. My fault. BEFORE you make a comment like, I can’t believe you said that! That comment was already made by a friend.

Certainly not my fault he smacked me on the ass. I won’t take the blame for that. He was wrong.
MY fault for not being as aware as I should have been. Yes, I left a clear opening to the door. But I had to pass him to use the bathroom. Ideally, I want clear access to the door and the bathroom. But I will take clear and unobstructed access the ladies room every time. Most likely, a man is not going to come after a woman who’s disappeared and does not come out of the bathroom. He will leave or send another woman in. And that’s just fine as far as I’m concerned.
My friend was obviously thoughtful as I continued… No, men don’t think that way. They don’t have to. Chances are slim to none a man in the same scenario will be threatend by a woman, right?

Now I’ve never had anything really freaky happen. Don’t think it ever will. But you never know…And my safety is my responsibility.

So…

Ladies? What do you ladies do to protect yourselves on that first meeting/date above and beyond taking the recommended be in a public place advise? Anything?

Men? Do you even think in these terms when meeting a woman for the 1st time? If not, will you give it more consideration from now on?

Hey, I know most men do not want to consider that they might come off as a threat to a woman. Most men do have a woman’s safety on their mind by walking them to their car, etc…