As hard as some try to loose weight, I work that hard at gaining weight. Ok I understand I’m small, petite, thin. No big deal. No monster bad body image issues.

Now before y’all go saying anything like, “Oh I should have such a problem”, for some it’s just as hard to gain weight as it is to loose it. I would love to be able to go on a diet to LOOSE WEIGHT!

The past year has been an emotional roller coaster. The ten pounds I lost with all the shit needs to go back on my very lean bones. I don’t eat when I’m stressed (more coffee please). And I hate eating alone. Eating? It’s more like force feeding.

All I want is a bit fuller figure-fuller ass, heavier thighs, and rounder breasts. I would LOVE to look in a mirror and wonder if those new jeans make my ass look too big. Is that asking so friggin’ much?

So what’s the problem? Fucking fat free food, reduced fat food, low cal food, low sugar food, no sugar food, low carb food, no carb food. Sure, go ahead…suck the fuckin’ calories out of every bit of food on the shelves. Ok, ok, less sugar is good, less fat is good. But give me a break, please. Grocery shopping is so complicated these days.

Now, I love a good steak, my almost rare burgers and sushi. But it ain’t gonna contribute much to the extra 10 pounds I want to gain.

So it looks like I’ll substitute beer for my coffee (they ought to appreciate that at work), ice cream for the dried fruit (yup, got a freezer in my office), pasta in cream sauce for the steak and fish, and half-n-half for whole milk.
What the hell did they do with all the fat-filled, calorie laden food?