I realized today that for only a brief 6 months in the summer of 1978, I have only lived totally and completely alone for 11 months out of my 49+ years.

Sure, I was a single parent more than once. But I was not alone. Certainly not in my own space without children. Come to think of it, I spent most of my 3 marriages alone. Emotionally, intellectually and many times, sexually alone.

After 5 months, I am finally feeling very comfortable in my house and with my space, alone.
Peace and quiet, privacy, space and solitude.

Despite being an introvert most of the time, I like the daily interaction with a partner. I love sleeping with man most of the time. And I want my daily fix of morning sex. And a quickie whenever I can get it. And surprise afternoon sex, shower sex, kitchen table sex…you get the idea. I have trouble eating alone. I like the slow conversation over supper. The, “How was your day, what’s up at work, talked to the kids, honey you have pink socks…”, sharing of daily life together. I like showering with my partner. I like cooking together. I love problem solving with another. And not to mention the daily hugs, kissing, patting, “I Love You”, stuff.

BUT…

I need solitude to recharge. Overloaded circuits, whether mental or emotional, cause a noticeable physical reaction. I become cranky and short tempered. The tendency is to push my partner away. Don’t touch, don’t talk, leave me alone…

For me, sketching is a private activity. It’s a powerful exercise in focusing, clearing my head, opening the other side of my brain, and training mind and hand. Looking at something in a completely different way. It requires total concentration. I’m not particularly good at it. But that’s not the point. It’s my meditation. Alone.

SO…

Presume I find a partner. Someone I want to share my life with and who wants to share his life with me. We both want that daily, intimate contact. Now what? Can I really live with someone again?

What about two separate houses close by? How close? Walking distance? A short drive? Shared keys? Come and go in either place anytime by either person?

Can two people have a truely close, intimate, mutually satifying partnership, as well as a rich and emotionally connected sex life and live apart?

What about a shared house and a very small house or cabin close by for either person to use? A place to think, process, chill, sketch, meditate, read, write, or just be? A getaway with some ground rules? Complete alone time, unless the other is invited? No peeking, no prying, no drive bys. Not secrecy. Just privacy, space and solitude.

It seems like the perfect solution to me. The best of both worlds. Could it work, and work well? Why not?